Do you wonder deep down whether your relationship is coming to an end? Do you sometimes feel you are just going through the motions?
Do you tell yourself some days:-
Who has the perfect marriage?
Is it really that bad?
I know they are a good person.
It is not like they do not work and provide for our family.
They are not violent or even abusive.
They are not cheating on me.
Better the devil you know.
Then again on other days:-
I am not in love with them anymore.
I do not want them anywhere near me, let alone have sex.
We have nothing in common.
They really bore me.
I know I could do better.
I am only here out of habit and it is far too scary to leave.
I do not want to hurt them.
Is this really the rest of my life?
So it goes round and round and you find yourself stuck in a loop, often for years. You find yourself becoming more and more resentful as time moves on.
So!!!! How do you break this cycle?
Many clients have told me one day they just wake up and think ‘’’’’’’’’ STOP ‘’’’’’’’’’’
It can be likened to jumping off a cliff into the unknown, but we all need someone to help break our fall.
Before you take the decision to dive off the cliff which can often be the point of no return, are you absolutely sure you have taken all the steps you can to save the relationship?
What are the main issues involved? Does the good outweigh the bad?
Have you sat down and really talked to each other?
Does your other half know how you really feel and if not is that part of the problem?
Are either of you prepared to compromise? Is there any middle ground?
When you are being totally honest with yourself, is there any way you are being unreasonable or unrealistic?
Choose your words carefully, once out of your mouth they cannot be taken back.
Consider going to Couple Coaching.
However if you know you have reached the point where there is nothing left then may be separation is your only option.
This can be extremely worrying, and you can often feel very lonely and frightened which may impair your ability to act and think clearly. I know personally how this feels having been through it myself. You cannot see the wood for the trees but I promise you it does get better.
Many people go to friends and family for advice at this difficult time but often their well intentioned concern for your welfare can be conflicting leaving you even more confused.. You feel totally exhausted and have no idea where to turn or what to do next. You just want it to stop!
At this stage for some going to see a Coach can be their lifeline. To have someone who is totally removed from the situation, that you can trust enough to say whatever comes to mind unfiltered, without judgement, and in total confidence can be totally liberating. You get the opportunity to unpack what is really going on and look at all the different perspectives available to you.
I will support you throughout this painful process and help you create your action plan enabling you to move forward.
I offer a free thirty minute phone consultation to find out where you are at the present time and what you need to effectively move your life forward formulating a plan for your future. This also gives both parties the opportunity to see if we fit? As we will be working so closely together respect and trust is imperative for the process to work effectively.
My fees are £75.00 per hour.
However for a block booking of six or more sessions I offer a 10% discount.
After Divorce Coaching
During the divorce process you are likely to be under a level of emotional pressure you have never experienced before. Divorce is not unlike bereavement and you should expect your feelings to be all over the place.
You may get locked into whose fault is it? Where did I go wrong? How could he/she do that to me. One of you may even be in denial and bury their head in the sand.
Each persons experience is unique. Let yourself grieve it’s normal to feel shock when a relationship ends, and it can take time for the reality to settle in. You will have good days and bad days give yourself time.
You will not be very rational at this difficult time and your emotions will probably run wild ranging from anger, guilt, frustration, feeling lost, confused, overwhelmed and will I ever stop crying. You need to accept your decisions may be impaired by these emotions.
The more you open up with me and unpack your emotions, the more we can take a look at all the different perspectives available to you.
When you can accept what has happened, the easier it will be to let it go and move forward to creating your new life. Now it’s time to reclaim yourself. Who are you? What’s important to you? What are your talents and gifts? How do you want to spend the rest of your life?
Let go of negative thoughts, try to keep a level head with your Ex it will increase your self-confidence. The more positive you are on the outside, the more positive you will feel on the inside too. We will work together to brainstorm the practical aspects of your divorce helping you realise you can come out of the fog into the sunlight and look forward to a new future.